My Favorite Toys

My mother is the opposite of a hoarder. While she has some few items that have been part of every home I ever knew her in, she lives quite minimal and I adore and envy her for it.
It may come as no surprise that I had a comparably small amount of toys as a kid and none made from plastic whatsoever. Don't worry, though, I never felt like I missed out! Except for the obligatory barbie I never asked her for anything made from platic and I admire her for being able to raise me this way.

Since she always prefered to invest in beautifully made, long-lasting toys many of those survived until today. I don't think there is anything more wonderful than the fact that Samuel gets to play with the same toys that had already given me so much joy over twenty years ago. Recently, I've noticed that these kind of toys, the hand-made, small-quantity produced, traditionally designed with a clear focus on eco and health consciousness have come back in style. Sure, the high-scale toy industry booms and expands with every 'new' unnecessary plastic item that manages to glow, flash and peep. At the same time though, I'm glad there are still enough people who appreciate phantasy-stimulating pieces and don't mind investing a bit more in exchange for good quality. I've collected all those things my mother stored for me all these years and researched toys that are at least similiar to mine if you're interested in buying them for your own kids (or as gifts!). I can promise you that all of these toys will inspire long hours of playing!

Most links below will bring you to German shops but I tried to include some options for you people in the US and in the UK. Have fun!

1. Pull-along-snake

I love this beautiful and very simple pull-along toy that basically consists of nothing more than a few big wooden beads and a string. It was hand painted by my mother and I like how the colors faded with time and use so I decided not to repaint it.
- This crocodile is both super cute and versatile as it stores a small number of wooden blocks-to-go. 
- The pull-alongs by Brio are an obvious classic for obvious reasons, very cute and available in many shapes.
- How fun is this little lawnmover that kids can push to make a rattling sound!

2. Skipping rope
A skipping rope is such a simple toy, still I haven't met a child that doesn't love playing with it. Mine was a souvenir from Italy, which explains the Pinocchio heads. I'm pretty sure they are still sold (some even with engraved names) but until you get a chance to go to Italy, consider taking a look at these beauties:
- This one is extra durable and with every buy it supports a project for disabled people. Win-win!
- The classic which is also most similar to mine.
- Oh mother of everything that is colorful and pastel! Also available in the UK.

3. Train tracks
Not only train enthusiasts (I'm always fascinated that there is such a thing) will love these train tracks. Since my childhood Brio added a lot of extras but I'm still a sucker for the simple fun that comes with attaching one wooden track to the other. 
- Sorry, it's a classic, only one way to go!

4. Wooden animals
Oh, these animals were my absolute favourites. I don't think any other toys were played with as much as these beautiful wooden figures.There are basically two (well, ok, I bet there are a lot more) well established brands that sell wooden animals
- These are the ones I grew up with and personally prefer for their more 'classic' look.
- Holztiger animals seem to be very popular right now and I'm sure they are very nice, too. If you live in the US, they are also available at Sweet William.

5. Wooden blocks
Wooden blocks are a staple in every childs collection, aren't they?  So, of course I had to include them in my list. The possibilities are endless, both in play and in the kind of blocks you can buy. I bet you know already which ones you love best but for the sake of completeness, here are a few wooden blocks that I find especially intriguing:
- Quite different from the classic wooden blocks but oh-so-beautiful, don't you think?
- Brio brings another classic to the table. Nothing wrong with that!
- I'm sure I'm not the only person who basically wants to buy everything Grimms has to offer but I really love the look of these color coordinated wooden blocks. Another Grimms set is available here for US readers.
- Another not-so-classic approach to wooden blocks are these balancing blocks by reaware. There is also a version for the color enthusiasts!

6. Baby piano
This lovely baby piano is, to be completely honest, not excactly the kind of heirloom toy I was looking to show you. It's a classic made-in-China item but is made from wood and lasts surprisingly long. Nevertheless, the instruments below are definitely more beautifully made.
While I couldn't find a piano like the one I have, I still had a hard time narrowing down my choices:
- Take a look at this xylophone (Germany) and this glockenspiel (US).
- I'd be embarassed to tell you how many times I looked at these tambourines only to cringe at the enourmous shipping costs to Europe. Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to go to New York very soon!
-  If you have three plus kids or are planning a music themed birthday party (how fun would that be?) this hamper is just the thing for you!
- Two very different kinds of guitars, both great in their own way. One from Germany and one from the US.

7. Boats
We have a small collection of boats, most of them we brought home from Portugal over the years. They make both great bathroom decorations (is there such a thing?) and are fun to play with in the tub (for the kids of course...).
- So simple and yet so genius: a balloon boat! Also available in Germany.
- Did I mention how nice boats look in the bathroom? Well, this one sure makes a statement!
- Made from natural rubber this little origami boat is super cute.
 
8. Pistol
I'm not a huge fan of (toy) weapons but as long as they are as adorable as the cork gun my mother bought in Strasbourg a long time ago, I don't mind!
- Now not only in Strasbourg but also in the UK!
- Along with the sweetest tiny figurines, Clauia crochets a a beautiful space gun (which we call fisch fön (fish blow dryer)) which you see in both hers and my instagram.

Thanks so much for reading and congratulations for getting through this humongous list! If you have anything to add, please mention in the comment section. Merci!

13/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Always on the move, touching, tasting, licking, watching everything. Ah..the joys of exploring!
Also, a small reminder: even bad weeks end eventually.

12/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

We've been enjoying the tender signs of spring: gentle rays of sunlight on our skin and cautiously blossoming flowers. The subtle warmth lured us outside, so we spent last week in parks, gardens and on the playground; sometimes even couragously without our jackets on and in short-sleeved jumpers. Always the critical observer; Samuel whose awareness for his environment had only been shaped in cold, wintery weather so far, has been skeptically getting to know different surface textures like grass and soil.

4 Small Things That Make Me Happy This Week 12/52/15

We've been going to the local public library a lot lately. Sure, Samuel can't appreciate a book for what it is, yet. Still, the calmness of this incredibly light-flooded place makes us both inexplicably happy.

Spring is here! Even though today's sky doesn't quite agree with my statement, it's undeniable. Pure joy.

Since Samuel reached his full-blown discovery stage I've been struggling to keep him entertained. I couldn't be more thankful for the great playgrounds in our neighbourhood and my slide-loving little boy.

I got to go out for the first time since Samuel's birth. Alone. At night. I dressed up. It. Was. Awesome. (Let's not talk about how much I missed my baby)

One, two, three, four times Samuel!

For the first three months of his life, Samuel was a cry baby. I don't mean this in a cruel way, I'm not making fun of my son, no, Samuel was actually crying for at least 3 or 4 hours a day. Every day. Nonstop. Sometimes we felt like we were going to go crazy or as if we were - already - failing as parents. In retrospect we know that there was nothing we could have done better but in the moment it was almost unbearable. Our tiny, beautiful, new-to-this-world baby was seemingly in pain, in distress or at least very, very unhappy. And there was nothing we didn't try but nothing made him stop. I'm sure all of you know how horrible it is to see your own child cry, particularly when they are to young to verbalize what it is that is causing their discomfort. Listening to his cries for hours every day and knowing that it'll happen again tomorrow, well, that was as close to hell as I've ever been.
Having said all of this, today, almost 8 months after his 3-months anniversary, it is already almost impossible to imagine. I've completely forgotten about how horrible it was and how close we sometimes were to giving up (whatever that means). Even writing it down now, doesn't change the fact that I can't really relate to the situation we were in anymore.

Isn't that odd?

What stays with you are the memories of first baths, first smiles, the smell of your babys skin, the touch of it's soft hair, cute noises and funny faces. The rest is (almost) gone. I'm sure if you would have asked me then, it would have been difficult for me to imagine that at some point Samuel would stop crying and that he would become a rather easy to please, happy little guy. The thought of having more children with whom we could experience the same kind of rocky first months would have been the last straw.

So, it's even the more miraculous, that I've been thinking a lot about siblings lately. After I was born my mother was hoping to have more children but it just never happened for various reasons. Therefore, I was dealt the cards of an only child which I hated every single day of my childhood. In fact, every year when it was time to write my Christmas whishlist, a little brother or sister always made the top of the list. While I don't believe people who grow up being an only child are less empathetic or more selfish than others I would still prefer Samuel to have multiple brothers or sisters. In my opinion (and yes, this comes from someone who could only make this observation from the outside) there is nothing better than having siblings. There will be always somebody who will play with you, listens to you and somebody who you can confide in when your parents are oh-so-mean (think puberty). I also imagine sibling love to be something very special that I didn't get to experience but would never want to prevent Samuel from having.

Yesterday a very lovely friend of mine asked me how many kids I was planning on having and I gave her my usual answer: 4! It got me thinking, though. Isn't four to much to handle? Will we ever be able to afford the financial reality that this large a number of children entails? Then again: I've never been someone to base a decision this emotional and significant on budgetary deliberations.
In the end I hope that we will be able to make this very important decision of when we'll have another baby, then another and another (?) on the basis of how we feel rather than on how we think what is right. How about you? If you have multiple children, how did you decide when and if the time had come for another child? How did you know when to stop? And if you have 'only' one child - is it enough for you? How many babys do you plan on having?

Repair and Maintain and Repeat

Since my pregnancy with Samuel I'm a major tea drinker. Some days I drink up to three or four pots which is a good thing because I used to forget to take in fluids in in the past. So you see, a tea pot and a tea glass, which I prefer to drink my tea from, is quite essential to my daily routine. Lucky that I have two pots in differnt sizes. Not so lucky that I'm also a major klutz and drop or bump several items a day. Two of these happened to be my beloved tea pots recently which I both broke in a matter of days, so I suddently found myself without a bigger vessel to make tea in. Neither pot is of huge financial value (though one of them is a (quite common) Bauhaus tea pot) but still I realized that there are certain things that we feel we cannot let go. It would be easy to just throw them out and find a new and shiny substitute without scratches, flaws, dents or holes. While that might be the way people usually do it in a time where things are readily available to be bought and brought home at any given moment, I prefer most of my belongings to have emotional value. Sure, there are objects that come with a story even though they are new. They might have been carefully and thoughtfully hand-made or were sold on a fleamarket. Why not try to stick to what we have and get the most out of it though? So, instead of getting rid of a tea pot I once handled rudely, I mend, repair and maintain it as well as I can. Isn't a tiny flaw what makes things - and people for that matter - beautiful?

11/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Even though we're already 11 weeks into the year I'm joining in on Jody's 52 project which I'm very excited about. 

Samuel has been waking up from his naps in a rather bad mood lately. One time this week however I came into the room and he was beaming with joy, still all wrapped up in blankets - ah, motherhood, you are the best.

4 Small Things That Make Me Happy This Week 11/52/15

Perfectly imperfect eggs from the local organic grocery store and learning about the great conditions the hens which lay them, live in.

 My new wooly Spanish slippers that keep my toes toasty.

Unexpectedly finding old treasures.


Despite the exhaustion I've been feeling lately, I still consider myself lucky to get to spent my days with this one.

The What-You-Really-Need-In-A-Hospital-Bag-List

We didn't pack a hospital bag, so this is a picture of Samuel's suitcase. You get the gist though, don't you?

If you've read Samuel's birth story you know that we never had the time to pack a proper hospital bag. What we threw together last minute was half-sufficient and half redundant. So, I thought it might be helpful to note down which items where acctually neccessary and which completely useless. The contents of a hospital bag and the significance of specific objects definitely depend on the kind of birth you have and the amount of time you spent at the hospital/ birthing center after your baby has arrived. Many of the things I list can be found at any hospital but I have to admit that it gave me a great deal of comfort to have my own towel and bathrobe. I imagine that feeling would have been even stronger if I wouldn't have been allowed to leave immediately after Samuel's arrival. Even if you decide to have a home birth you'll need some essentials readily available and it's also smart to have an emergency hospital bag just in case the labour doesn't progress the way you had thought it would (even though I root for you this eventuality won't become a reality!).
I'd love to hear your ideas, aswell! What where the things you found most essential? Did I mention something that is completely irrevelant in your opinion?

For you:
- at least 2 big, black, comfortable granny panties (something along the lines of this)
- One or two pairs of warm and long wooly socks (it can get cold in a hospital, even in summer) or slippers to walk around
- either one of your husband's t-shirts or a comfy night gown
- a headband and, if you have long hair like me, a hair tie
- a bathrobe (how gorgeous is this one by ace&jig?)
- a towel, you might want to shower if you have the chance or are you having a water birth? (I love these ones by fog linen!)
- maxi pads, lots of them
- a tank top/ longsleeve that you can pull down to breast feed. Make sure it's rather loose fitting, you won't feel like having something tight wrapped around your body, believe me.
- two feeding bras and breast pads
- phone charger (I know, weird, but you might stay a bit longer)
- a granola bar
- if you have to stay in the hospital for a few days you might like to take your own pillow
- a complete outfit for when you leave. I recommend leggins, a loose fitting shirt (see above) and a cardigan
- a mixed CD
- glasses, if you need them
- health insurance ID if you have something like that in your country

For the man in your life (don't forget about him!):
- a camera + charged battery, for obvious reasons
- snacks and water
- a t-shirt to change. Seriously, he might get wet.. enough said.
- money to get a coffee or tea
- a book. He might want to distract himself or you might like to be read to while waiting.

For the baby:
- two or three outfits incl. pants/leggins, onesie, a shirt (I recommend you take a onesie + shirt in kimono style), soft cotton or wool hat and socks (I love this set by Mabo and this hat by Otto Finn)
- burb cloths (these are technically swaddles but I believe in things that have more than one purpose)
- baby blanket (maybe one that smells like you? I wore Samuels as a scarf for a while) (Again, Otto Finn has the answer for summer babys. I also adore this one by macarons fashion)
- car seat (I kid you not, my boyfriend had to go home after Samuel was born to get ours, we were so unprepared!)
- diapers! Every hospital has diapers for you to use but maybe you'd prefer to bring your own.

A Sunday Stroll in Spring + Thoughts on Letting Kids Explore

Yesterday it felt like spring had arrived for the first time this year. Not only that it was warm but it seemed like the earth took a deep breath as everything immersed in sunlight. For me, it's really the light that is missing during winter, the cold I can deal with. Samuels aunt was visting for the weekend and to celebrate we took a long walk. No matter where we went, people where taking in the first signs of spring, the light, the air and enjoying themselves coat-less to feel the sun's warmth on their skin. We felt so close to paradise! Isn't it nice how small things like this can change everything and lift your mood immediately?
Samuel however was seriously confused at the sight of seas of crocuses and snowdrops. Poor baby, winter has been going on way to long!

 

 While we were strolling along tree-lined paths in the park, Samuel was taking in the scene in his own way. Whenever we stopped for a while he would crawl around, pull himself up wherever possible and pick up stones, flowers and twigs. When we reached a flight of stairs he continued to explore and cautiously and slowly climped the steps one by one until he reached the top. I would look around sometimes and realized that Samuel was the only child (his age) who was not permanently sitting in his stroller but would crawl around freely as he liked. This is certainly not news to me. Wherever we go, may it be playgroup, when we travel on a train or sit in a café we generally don't mind letting Samuel go so he can move around and, yes, put pretty much everything in his mouth. In my mind it's his way of learning and trying out his own limits and preferences. I like to think that by letting him 'run' wild and free he'll always come back for comfort. Additionally, I prefer not to restrict his curiosity because I fear if I do it to often he'll lose his wonderful, exploratory mind. At the same time I'm aware that many people might have safety concerns or, and I've been told that many times, are even genuinely scared for Samuel's or their own baby's health. I don't think anybody has to worry, though - I'm always there, ready to catch him when he needs me to.

 Samuel is wearing beautiful Overall Orel Crash by macarons fashion, a stripy onesie by Joha, a star hat by Noe+Zoé and our favourite urban mocassins by Amy+Ivor

The Day I Became A Mother

It took me quite a while to get started but here I am! Here I am trying to describe something that feels like it's almost impossible to put into words: Samuel's birth.

Part One: Preparations And Being Un-Prepared

Our birth story might not be as exciting as you may expect. Nothing bad happend, nothing unusual happened. Still, for me (obviously) it is very special and I hope you'll think so, too.

Every birth starts with a pregnancy and mine and Samuels particular pregnancy started and ended with a shock. We hadn't planned on having children for many, many years. We didn't even live in the same city at that point and we made sure nothing baby-related would happen to us – so we thought! This little baby of ours however made it pretty clear he wanted to be in our lives – as clear as two purple lines and a little button that had called my belly his home for four weeks already. Quite a shock for two people in their mid-twenties who both just moved to new, seperate cities and had planned to start working on their university degrees! It's safe to say that we both struggled to accept the implications for a while, which made the first three months, as difficult as they already physically were, also emotionally challenging. I don't want anybody to think that we didn't become happy, thankful and very, very excited as the pregnancy progressed but the start was rocky - to say the least.

Apart from some health scares that turned out to be nothing at all, the second trimester was pleasantly uneventful. Towards the third trimester I started to feel more uncomfortable (but really, who doesn't?). Back pains became a constant factor of my every day and I was more than just a bit stressed out when heartburn and yes, incontince joined the list of common pregnancy symptoms that apparently I wasn't going to avoid. As annoyingly slow and dependent on my boyfriend I was, I still LOVED being pregnant. The excitment, the planning, the whole mystery around it - which was magniefied even more when we decided not to learn the sex of the baby -, I adored (almost) every second of it.

By Easter 2014, at 36 weeks, I felt huge and immobile but still insisted on accompanying my mother to see a play at Thalia Theater in Hamburg. The weekend was slow and gorgeous and filled with sun-soaked walks, coffee dates and an extended brunch with my godmother. Still, when I returned home I entered a new phase of exhaustion that I couldn't shake off no matter how many baths and naps I took. At this point I should mention that we always assumed this baby to come at least a week late. How we came to this bogus idea, I'll never know. On Thursday, 4/25/2014, now 37+3 weeks along, we had our last birthing class which left us none the wiser but a whole lot calmer as we started to prepare for the – as we thought – long period of waiting. The next evening I remember being quite annoyed. Annoyed by the never-ending sense of mental and phyical fatigue, the extreme heartburn that I had stupidly decided to ignore when I had pizza that evening to make things even worse and annoyed by the fact that I was annoyed.

Part Two: Taking Baths And Other Fluids - Early Labor

I took a long bath to help with my back pain (it didn't make the slightest difference) and when I got out of the tub I felt a bit of pressure on my pelvis. I didn't give it more than a second of attention, though. Just before we went to bed - at around eleven, I was way to tired for a later bed time - my heartburn got even worse than usual. Due to the level of exhaustion I'd been feeling I went to sleep quite quickly despite the pain. After only an hour and a half I woke up, annoyed by the fact that it still felt like fire ants were going for a stroll in my upper torso. The situation got even more unpleasant when I realized that I was slowly, steadily but surely peeing my pants without having any control over it. Between complete amusement and overall exhaustion I told the father-to-be about what was happening, got up, which in my hippo-esque state must have looked very funny and went to the bathroom to change. Only then did I notice that I was still getting more wet and the stream of pee (which I laughably thought that was) was not coming to an end. I crawled back into bed to inform my boyfriend, hoping he would comfort me by saying that our estimated delivery date was more than two weeks away, which he did. You have to understand that 1.) we didn't expect the birth to start for another 2-4 weeks 2.) we hadn't packed a single thing, not one thread, no mediations were memorized, no music was burned on a forever-to-be-kept CD 3.) we were as mentally prepared for what was to happen as Galileo Galilei would have been if he were invited to watch Formula One. I might exaggerate a bit on the last point but still, our baby's birth seemed as far away as it had been the last couple of months – it just seemed so completely surreal. After a few minutes we both grew more uncertain because, and I'm sorry if you feel this is oversharing it, the fluid smelled differently. As a consequence I called our midwife, feeling immensely guilty for waking her up in the middle of the night for something that was possibly absolutely nothing. She went through a catalogue of questions and in the end determined that indeed I was in labor. However, since I didn't have any contractions up until then she told us to get some rest, sleep through the night and meet her at the birthing center at ten in the morning. You'll soon understand why this is still funny to us. Right then it made complete sense to me as we had learned that it isn't unusual that a first-time birth can take days!

Part Three: More Baths, Even Less Fun - Active Labor

So back to „sleep“ we went. After only five minutes (or was it even less than that?) I felt a cramping in my lower abdomen, which kept getting stronger and more painful with every second. Even though I knew that these probably were contractions, we also remembered that people who run to the hospital (or the birthing center in our case) in panic at the first sign of the birth starting, are often asked to go back home. I was determined not to have this happening to me! Instead I tried to tell myself that what I was experiencing was only the beginning and that things would only get worse. However, I soon realized that there were absolutely no breaks in between contractions, not one tiny second. Instead I started to feel sick and threw up and after only twenty or thirty minutes I wasn't able to stand or sit or lie down, nothing gave me comfort any more. In our birth preparation class we had learned that in order to determine whether the contractions you are feeling are 'only' Braxton-Hicks or actual you-will-have-a-baby-soon-contractions you should take a warm bath. Getting into the bathtub however made thingsa hundred times worse - a clear sign: we were in labor. By this time I had finally accepted that maybe, probably, I was going to meet our baby a tiny bit earlier than I had anticipated. It might be that only women who have already experienced labor know what I'm talking about when I'm telling you: it takes a moment or two to mentally embrace that you are going to push a little human being out of your body. Yes, there is that huge junk of time called pregnancy which should be more than enough - 40 weeks to be exact - to prepare for this moment, but really: I don't think many women realize what labor physically means and what it feels like before they actively go through it. So it may come as more of a surprise to some, less to others, that, while I was sitting on the edge of my bed, realizing that in fact the contractions would only get more painful and that I was going to become a mother a lot sooner than May 12th, I was simultaneously calculating how long I would have to suppress my contractions (ha!) in order to at least have my baby born in May. Hilarious in retrospect but, I guess, a valuable coping mechanism at the moment.

While I threw up two more times, tried to find relief in different positions and did a whole lot of swearing, if I remember correctly, my poor boyfriend ran about the appartment and tried to collect everything from a 'what-you-really-need-in-hospital-bag'-list we had been handed out at the end of our birthing class. 

Part Four: A Taxi Ride and Another Bath

 

At 3am, two hours after the contractions had started without a break in between, I threw in the towel. I was in full-blown labour and I sure wasn't going to risk having this baby at home completely unplanned! So again, we called our midwife Stephanie and when she heard how close together the contractions already were, she agreed that we should meet rather sooner than later. And so, one hellish taxi ride later, we found ourselves in front of the birthing center at a quarter to four in the morning. After our midwife arrived we went to the birthing suite and she checked my curvex and the srength of the contractions.To our surprise I was already four centimeters dilated! At hearing the good news I was able to let go. The pain was overwhelming but, I know this might sound strange, only in the most positive way. I could feel my body work and felt like I could trust the process. My body knew what to do, my baby did excactly what it was supposed to do to finally arrive safely in my arms. All I had to do was focus and breathe and that was all I really did for the next hour. We tried different positions to make me feel more comfortable, some included holding onto my boyfriend, some required the assistance of a birthing stool, all of them had the same result: the pain couldn't be helped, it was all part of the process. In the end both Stephanie and my boyfriend would tell me that throughout the entire birth I made almost no sound of discomfort. I think in the moment it would have disturbed my concentration, so I never felt the urge to scream or moan.

At around a quarter to five I asked to go into the tub so Stephanie filled it with warm water. Once I went in something happened that I wasn't able to explain then and still can't in retrospect. This time being surrounded by water was excactly what I needed! While I could still feel the contractions and they still hurt, the pain became so bearable that for the first time during the last few hours I was able to talk and even laugh. After this point what had been an okay-experience turned into a wonderful, exciting process.

Part Five: A Shock and A Baby

At around 5:15am I left the tub to use the toilet. We had been 'warned' in class that at some point during the later part of a birth the body tries to make as much space as possible to help the baby go through the birth canal. Since I felt an enormous amount of pressure on my lower body I assumed that I had reached that point. If you are rather squeamish you probably don't want to read this part, just skip it and read on after the break. Sitting on the toilet I was suddently scarred to push because I thought if I'd do it to hard I'd end up having a baby in the bathroom! The pressure was so overwhelming though that it took me over 15 minutes to finally admit that I might be close to actually having this kid! I gently checked with my fingers and was shocked to my very core. What I felt was something soft, yet firm and above all fluffy coming out of me.

In complete disbelieve I got up from the toilet, went back to the birthing suite and into the tub, made myself comfortable, took a deep breath and told Stephanie and the boyfriend that I was 'pretty sure' the baby was very close. Sure enough, two or three contractions later, Samuel's head, after slipping out and in a few times, came out. I remember that I got a bit annoyed that it took me so 'long' to get him out, so when another seemingly unsuccesful contraction ended I just kept on pushing until finally, he popped out (I never admitted this to Stephanie). What followed was the weirdest feeling I'll never forget! His body still inside me, Samuel turned his head from the left to the right a few times, always looking down. All we could see was a teeny tiny thing, almost furry that was moving and very much alive! Only 20 seconds and another contraction later our son came into this world and was immediatly placed in my arms.

The first thing I saw was his incredible hair.

The first thing I said was ' we have a son'.

The first thing I did was kiss his sweet face.

There he was after only 5.5 hours of labour at 6:11am on Saturday, 4/26/2014, all 2780 grams and 48 cm of him.

After fifteen minutes my boyfriend cut the cord and took him to the other room in a pile of blankets. I delivered the placenta twenty minutes later and finally left the water after that. Samuel was then weighed, measured, dressed and breastfed for the first time thirty minutes after his arrival on this planet.

We left the birthing center at 9am as a small family of three.

The next day we gave him the name SAMUEL BRUNO. We love him very much.